A complete guide to fostering a strong and healthy surrogate relationship

When you finally discover an ideal method to conceive a healthy baby through surrogacy, it can be exciting and overwhelming at the same time. Once you begin approaching a few prospective surrogacy agencies, you can ultimately feel the process is within reach to fulfill your years of long-lost dream to commence a family. Well, when you explore the offerings of the surrogacy process you might have hundreds of questions in mind like how do you match surrogates with us? How can we trust a prospective surrogate and how can we maintain a healthy surrogate relationship?

Well, one of the important relationships that intended parents needs to share in a surrogacy journey is with the surrogate mother. A lot of intended parents have concerns about trusting surrogate mothers, and we understand your anxiety to let the control off from an anonymous surrogate. Don’t worry, this complex and layered bond demands good communication and well-discussed and agreed-on respective boundaries, and expectations. If you are considering surrogacy for the first time, then maintaining an effective parent-surrogate relationship can be quite challenging for you. To make it easier for you, we have jotted down effective tips to foster a strong bond and maintain a healthy surrogate relationship.

Before we begin discussing ways to maintain an effective relationship with surrogates, let us walk you through the essential steps of the surrogacy journey. Gestational surrogacy uses third-party reproduction i.e surrogate mother achieves successful conception by using the IVF method or surrogacy IVF.

The medical process begins with intended parents and or donors providing their gamete material to create qualitative embryos. Once embryos are formed, it is transferred into the surrogate’s womb. After a few days, she will undergo a test to determine her pregnancy results, and as she confirms conception she moves forward like any other pregnant woman. Since the procedure uses the method of IVF, which makes the success rate of surrogacy quite high compared to other fertility programs.

Remember, throughout the process, having a good understanding and trust with the surrogate will help you believe in the journey and make it a hassle-free surrogacy journey for both parties.

Let us walk you through various tips to foster a surrogate relationship throughout the different stages of the surrogacy journey.

  • Perks of maintaining a strong bond with your surrogate
  • How can I bond well with my surrogate?
  • Tips to maintain a healthy surrogate relationship
  • Matching process
  • Surrogate-parent relationship during surrogacy pregnancy
  • Surrogacy with Surrogency

Perks of maintaining a strong bond with your surrogate

A surrogacy journey cannot be successful if you don’t believe in your surrogate and her lifestyle or sacrifices. Your relationship with her can have an enormous impact on the surrogacy process.

Surrogacy pregnancy

Throughout the journey of surrogacy pregnancy, you and your surrogate will have to make a few complex decisions that will impact your child and her body. To initiate a conversation or build a sense of understanding and trust you must begin with an open dialogue so she understands you care for her health and her sacrifices. Meanwhile, she will also get your style of communication.

Intended parents

Fostering a great surrogate relationship is beneficial for you! It will bring you closer to her, your baby, and her experience with pregnancy. Having a great bond with her will create a comfort zone between you two and she can easily share her mood swings, cravings, and feelings for 9 months.

Intended parents cannot have complete control over pregnancy and this may make you feel like you are left out of the surrogacy journey. However, a strong connection with the gestational carrier will make you feel connected to your child and part of the journey.

Surrogate mother

A surrogate decides to sacrifice her routine and other essential doings and go through extensive change and pain to help the intended parents create a life. She would expect the intended parents to be cooperative and a little gesture of kindness and gratitude will make her feel respected and appreciated.

How can I bond well with my surrogate?

This is the common concern of every intended parent while maintaining a relationship can seem extremely difficult specifically if you are considering international surrogacy. Bonding with your surrogate can be difficult initially, as it is for every new relationship. We have suggested a few ideas that can help to know her well and initiate a good conversation with understanding.

  • Ask her about her family, her kids(if any), or what she does in her free time.
  • Embrace that awkwardness, there’s no harm in sharing your feeling at that moment. Instead, she will understand your nervousness, and this will show your willingness to know and understand her.
  • Keep thinking about the topics you would like to talk about with her, you can make a list beforehand to make communication smooth and effective.
  • Ask her how can we help her throughout the journey and how can we communicate after the surrogacy pregnancy. Ask her what influenced her to help others by becoming a surrogate.

Although a surrogacy agency would help intended parents stay updated with the process still few intended parents feel it is necessary to maintain a good relationship with their surrogate as she helps them conceive a baby but also makes sure her personal space hasn’t interfered.

Tips to maintain a healthy surrogate relationship

Any relationship demands good communication and cares for each other, same with a surrogate relationship. To give specific tips throughout the different stages of the surrogacy process let us walk you through 2 important phases of the surrogacy IVF procedure and how can you foster a beautiful surrogate relationship and bind with her.

The matching process

The success rate of surrogacy depends on the surrogate you finalize. Every prospective surrogate needs to undergo extensive and rigorous physical and psychological screening in a surrogacy journey, as she carries your child so selecting a healthy, fit and mature surrogate is a must to experience a successful and hassle-free surrogacy IVF journey.

This process includes lots of paperwork, and patience as you will have to speak with several prospective surrogates to understand her behavior and lifestyle, it will be an intricate decision for both of you whether to work with each other or not. Though the journey brings uncertainty and feeling of anxiety along. A few tips can make your decision to select the appropriate surrogate easier for you.

Maintain Honesty

If you wish to maintain a strong and understanding surrogate relationship, then be honest from the moment you interact with her in the matching process. The key is to maintain transparency with her.

Avoiding her questions or intentionally not answering her in the fear of rejection will already make her skeptical to work with you. Remember, if you decide to work with each other, you have at least a year of communication waiting for you to complete a surrogacy IVF journey.

Have realistic expectations from your surrogate

Surrogency is known to gift intended parents a healthy child with a great success rate of surrogacy. However, we always suggest that intended parents stay optimistic and patient about the matching process in selecting an ideal surrogate mother. Even when you find a surrogate, the process may take time with paperwork, and medical processes, and achieving pregnancy may take time if in case she fails to get successful implantation, then the doctor would suggest repeating the medical process.

Remember when you match with a surrogate, she won’t be available for 24✖7 in the duration of the surrogacy pregnancy. Before your surrogate gets pregnant, you must establish your way of communication, set boundaries, and share expectations. Since you won’t have complete control over her pregnancy, timely communication with her can make you feel connected with the process.

Lastly, understand that she is undergoing a pregnancy journey for your baby which means she will have to go through physical pain, hormonal changes, mood swings, morning sickness, sore feet, and related things. You must try to understand her situation and respect her sacrifices and set a few realistic goals and expectations for her.

Don’t pressurize your surrogate

Being honest is good to maintain a healthy relationship with the surrogate, but that doesn’t mean you over-share and pressurize her. Avoid telling her, that you are our last hope as this can make her panic if things go otherwise.

Whether a surrogate decides to work with your family or not you must respect her decision and not let her feel that she is letting you down. Remember the decision for the matching process both ways, after all, she is going to sacrifice a lot of things for her intended parents so she would want to meet her expectations with lifestyle and related things just as you want from her.

Surrogate-parent relationship during pregnancy

Finally, the wait is over! The dream of becoming a parent may feel like coming true when your surrogate confirms pregnancy. At this moment, you are bound to feel excited, happy, and nervous at the same time.

Though, it is essential to have good communication with your surrogate by now as she won’t be able to have complete control over the process, and neither you will be able to experience little moments of the child during pregnancy. To simplify this process, we have listed below a few tips.

Put yourself in her place

In most cases, intended parents have restricted time to communicate with the surrogate. So, when you get the chance to share a conversation with her, make sure you don’t bombard her with the silliest questions.

She might be a working woman or may have her own family or child to be there for. And she may have to travel for her family functions or other important events, so before you ask them whether that is necessary to travel or how would you handle the event? Stop yourself and ask, is it really necessary to ask such questions? whatever the situation is try to understand her circumstances and communicate accordingly.

Respect everyone’s feelings involved in the surrogacy IVF journey

The surrogacy process can be tedious and extremely time-consuming but doesn’t mean you lose hope in between or take anyone in the process for granted. The way you want someone to treat you, the same way you must treat the other person. Respecting their boundaries, expectations, and space helps you foster a great surrogate-parent relationship.

Surrogacy process with Surrogency

Surrogency has been assisting intended parents to achieve their dream parenthood with high success rates of surrogacy. We work hard to ensure intended parents experience a stress and complex-free journey. With a varied network of qualified surrogates and donors, we make sure you find your ideal match.

Our expert helps and guides you through the entire process so that you know you are making the right decision at every stage of the procedure. If you want to know more about matching with the surrogate, or surrogacy treatment book our consultation call to initiate a conversation with us!

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